What to do when a spouse asks for an unexpected divorce

| Aug 13, 2020 | divorce | 0 comments

Divorce can be difficult for a number of reasons. Some spouses mutually realize that the marriage is over, so they just need to make it official. Then, there are the situations when one spouse is blindsided by the other; spouses might be served with divorce papers that they never saw coming. In this situation, there are steps that can be taken if one spouse does not want to end the marriage.

Start by trying to understand why the other spouse is asking for a divorce. It is important to be respectful of their feelings and opinions. A spouse may need the other to change before they agree to remain in the marriage. This may seem very one-sided, but if the marriage is to be saved, listening and understanding are important starting points. Sometimes, the spouse who is asking for the divorce has valid concerns. Addiction, abuse and adultery are three ways to end trust in a marriage. Not every spouse can recover, so the marriage is more likely to fall apart.

Those who want to save the marriage should avoid acting out, begging, gossiping, idealizing and manipulating. There is no sense in nagging, becoming needy or reminiscing. Spying should be avoided, too. This is the time to be one’s best self. If help is needed, seek counseling. Stay within a daily routine while being respectful.

In cases where one spouse is too far gone, it may be a good idea to begin speaking with a lawyer who works in family law with a focus on divorce. If there are children involved, someone may end up paying child support as well as alimony, so it is important to get all affairs in order. A legal professional may be able to help save the marriage or explore the alternatives.